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Why Do Married People Flirt?

The question was posed earlier this morning why do married people flirt? It’s an interesting question because why wouldn’t married people flirt? People flirt and aren’t married people people?

Said another way one never asks why do married people eat. Or why do married people sleep, or why are you broke, aren’t you married, or why do married people still masturbate. Why aren’t these questions asked? Because married people are people first. And as a person you have same needs and desires of any other person - food, shelter, sex.

So let’s start here: Marriage is a social construct. Entirely man-made. Before you dusting off your Bibles - Did Jesus get married? Why? Probably because he is smarter than mankind, but that’s another topic for another day.

One does not become less of an individual upon walking down the aisle.

Taking vows does not erase either person, their personality nor their tendencies.

Marriage creates a new family under the law, but the two people are the same people they were prior to lighting the unity candle and jumping over the broom.

Turn to your neighbor and say “same people”

Turning back to the original question posed. Define “flirt.” It means different things to different people. Flirt is a verb and Merrian-Webster online defines flirt as:

: to move erratically : 
a : to behave amorously without serious intent
b : to show superficial or casual interest or liking <flirted with the idea>; also : experiment <a novelist flirting with poetry>
See (last visited September 29, 2011, 2:50 p.m. CDT)

So phrased another way why do married people behave with an inclination or disposal toward love and/or sex without serious intent? Why do married people show a superficial or casual interest or liking in some one or thing? Is this behavior now become deviant because of your wedding band?

Again there is nothing devious nor nuanced about flirting. It is a method of communication between a male and a woman. I am a charming, charismatic individual. I am in a relationship based business. Sometimes flirting is the way to go in order to break the ice and start to build that relationship business. A bright smile, a wink, and sly double entendre can go along way. Both men and women do it. You’ve never felt influence until you can walk into a business meeting made up of white men and woman and all female eyes are on you. You control how they feel, they react, their opinion. All by your presence, your manner, your words. I’ve seen a whole gym full of men stop in their tracks at the sight of woman dressed to impressed waving “hi” to a dude on the street. We are sexual beings and casual amorous connotations intertwined with communication works wonders. 

By the way, we all know the folks in the workplace or in social settings who cannot relax and go with the flow and communicate. Stiff as a board, uncomfortable, they make everyone else in the room uncomfortable. Guess won’t be getting the deal from this meeting?

So to answer your question, why does this married person flirt? Cause that’s who I am. I am that man. I am a flirt. cue R. Kelly, T.I. and T-PainI was flirt when I met my wife and I am flirt over 10 years later. That’s what caught her eye in the first place. When I turn on the charm and control the room, ain’t nothing like it. I just got it like that. So do it well. Others with they could.

Why do other married folks flirt? Well probably because they flirted before they got married.

The better question is if you weren’t a flirt or didn’t flirt before you got married, why did you start flirting once you got married? 

Shall We Proceed And Continue?

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